1998 Cricket Tour of West Sussex - Day 1 by Mark Reynolds

Day One - Monday 3rd August

The start of the first CSCC tour since the Cretaceous period had finally arrived, and what a great week it promised to be. It all began at 9am when the tour party met for breakfast. It had been raining since 6am and the High Street had never looked wetter.

One by one the "Graceless" tour party members walked through the doors of the Squire. Distinctive grey T shirts, designed by Rob Fowler and produced by Andre Fletcher & Co., were handed out while everyone ate a hearty breakfast. The T-shirts were to become a part of everyone that week, sticking to the wearer like George Blakemore and Mark "Willow" Williams stuck to the outfield that fateful afternoon when they both tumbled to the ground failing miserably to stop a "push" from one of the Warnham batsmen.

Fines

After breakfast the fines Chairman Rob Fowler explained to the assembled masses some of the financial penalties they may incur during the week ahead. These included fines of 50 pence for :-

Being out for a Golden Duck
Scoring less than 20 runs
Scoring more than 50 runs
Taking less than 2 wickets
Taking more than 2 wickets

There would be a "Dodgey Bat" with no inside edge, which had disintegrated, and most of the lower part was missing, but it still had a great middle! Each day one person's name would be drawn out of a hat for use of the bat and if he didn't score off the first ball, there was a 50p fine.

Dead Ants

There would also be a game called "Dead Ants" where on the call of "Dead Ants" everyone had to stop what they were doing immediately and fall to the ground with their legs and arms waving in the air like a dead ant.

The last one to respond would be fined £2, but would have the honour of calling "Dead Ants" the following day. "Dead Ants" could be called at any time by the way...and I mean any time.

We left Sodbury in dribs and drabs in the pouring rain, not quite sure whether we would be playing cricket, golf or cards in the afternoon. However the further east we went, the dryer it became, and by the time we reached Horsham, where we were staying, it had stopped. Apparently it hadn't rained there all morning, so there were great expectations that the tour was going to start with a game of cricket.

The Queen's Head

Everyone eventually turned up at the "Queen's Head" only to discover that some of us would be staying at another pub called the "King's Arms" some half a mile away. But no matter, it was all part of the unpredictability of being on tour, so undeterred, we all made our way to Wamham for the first match.

Our first game of Cricket

We were told by the captain of the day Mark Williams that we were playing in a "time" game, but little did we know that the most exciting event would be Clappy not getting a wicket and then throwing his toys out of the pram.

Being the touring side we were put into bat. Paul Tovey and Clive Reynolds opened and we got off to a flying start with 24 runs coming off the first three overs. Then came an innings of sheer genius and determination, the first ton of the tour. In conditions you can only describe as cold and wet, Craig Scully batted with a number of different partners until he was eventually caught for 114 with the score on 210-7, at which point Mark declared.

Dave Reynolds' name was drawn to use the "Dodgy Bat" and he hit a couple of glorious shots, but was out for 10. He was fined for scoring less than 20 and not scoring off the first ball. Not good enough...

Into the field...

We then took the field and prepared to battle for victory. Clappy and George opened the bowling and kept things tight but neither could get an early breakthrough. That was until the end of Clappy's 7th over when Mark Williams uttered the words "Have a blow then Steve".

With that the whole team felt we finally had a chance to get some wickets. George duly answered the call by getting 2 wickets in the next over, and from then on Wamham didn't really look like passing our score.

However there was, surprisingly, still much excitement to follow, provided by none other than Andre Fletcher. The star fielder of the day ran to all parts of the ground with a great determination, matched only by that of Malcolm Soper playing cards.

Of course with all the rain we were having that afternoon and the fact that Andre was only wearing trainers, he pulled off some amazing slips and slides trying to stop the ball and was lucky to come out of it with only a few bruises.

The Wamham innings petered out on 146-9 as they held out for a draw having faced 9 overs more than us. It would have been more exciting watching paint dry.

Note in Scorebook - Day One

The following comment in the score book summed up the match: "AS FAR AS WE ARE CONCERNED SODBURY GRACELESS XI WON BY 64 RUNS".

Fines of the day were :-

Late for breakfast
Not arranging a sunny day
Late for the first game
Batting like Geoff Boycott
Fielding like an 800m runner
Taking Harpic into the shower
Not growing a tour goaty beard

"Dead Ants" was called in the changing room after the match and the dubious honour for calling it on day 2 fell to Rob Fowler.

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