1998 Cricket Tour of West Sussex - Day 3

Day Three - Wednesday 5th August

Day 3 saw the arrival of Rob Wakefield, Malcolm Soper and Geoff Boycott's personal coach Tony Garton. The weather forecast was for an even hotter day and it would be a landmark match, not only because of the Dead Ants call but for something not thus far achieved, a real victory in a time game.

The match against Barns Green, under Captain of the day Paul Reynolds, began with the knowledge that once again we would be required to set a target for the opposition, but this time we had a plan.

Winning Plan

The plan, devised by Mark Reynolds, was to try and lure the opposition into a false sense of security by setting them a low total, one which they thought might be achievable and have a go at, giving us the chance to take wickets.

Everything appeared to be going to plan early in the innings as Steve Clapp (4) Rob Wakefield (11) and Malcolm Soper (4) followed captain Rambo's instructions and got out cheaply but Mark Reynolds, batting at No 4, ignored his own plan and preceded to reach a score of 33 before being given out to a dodgy LBW decision by a dodgy umpire.

Others soon realised that the only reason Mark had hatched the plan was to get a knock himself. Dave Reynolds (26) and Paul Tovey (31 no) then preceded to push the Sodbury score on to 171-9 in 36.3 overs, at which point Rambo declared to stop Paul passing brother Mark's total.

Bowling under a blisteringly hot blue sky

Malcolm Soper and Steve Clapp opened the bowling but again Clappy failed to get his first tour wicket. By this time the hot afternoon sun was beating down on the backs of the Sodbury players as the birds squawked in the nearby trees and a group of Sodbury supporters huddled around a park bench to try and keep cool.

The first ball of Malcolm's over was to go down in the annuls of Sodbury folklore. He turned at the end of his run up and thundered towards the stumps as usual, then, a few paces away from the crease, came the cry of Dead Ants from 'Kapil' Dave Reynolds.

Malcolm continued to deliver the ball because he couldn't stop but, by this time, all the Sodbury fielders and the rest of the squad on the sidelines were flat on their backs with their arms and legs waving madly in the air.

The Barns Green batsman, although startled by the antics of the Sodbury tourists, hit a straight drive past the bowler and Mark Williams at mid-on who lay on his back looking up into the clear blue sky.

Not surprisingly Malcolm Soper immediately flew into a fit of rage and threw his toys everywhere. Mark Williams eventually got to his feet with the aid of six other Sodbury fielders and stopped the batsmen running the fourth run. A real Champagne moment and worth the price of anyone's admission money.

The Barnes Green innings ebbed and flowed until they were eventually all out for 142 in 34.3 overs made possible by the bowling of Mark Williams (5-1-21-3), Rob Wakefield (2.3-0-6-3) and Malcolm Soper, after recovering from the initial shock (6-2-14-2).

Note in Scorebook - Day Three

At last we had properly won a match, this time the comment in the scorebook was more definite, "SODBURY GRACELESS XI WON BY 29 RUNS". Mark Reynolds' master plan had worked.

Fines of the day were :-

Only coming to umpire but bringing full kit
Calling the umpire trigger
Homosexual conquest claims
Having an electric razor on tour
Pretending to be a cricketer
Photo-opportunity diving
Talking like Boycott, batting like Devon Malcolm
Ginger chest wig
Shaving on tour
1960's bellybutton
Insectivorousness (ask Rob Fowler)

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